What is Radical Acceptance? The DBT Skill Explained
We all face frustrating, disappointing situations in life. Sometimes, you’re able to easily address the problem and change your circumstances. But at other times, you don’t have much control over the situation. You might be dealing with a problem that you cannot solve, such as an illness, a natural disaster, watching a loved one struggle with addiction, or another issue that exists outside of your personal sphere of control. It can be very difficult to accept situations like these, but they are unavoidable parts of life.
Learning how to practice acceptance in the midst of troubling times is a key skill. Radical acceptance is a cornerstone of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Here’s how you can start implementing these helpful principles in your daily life.
Observing and Reflecting on Reality
When you’re in a situation that increases your anxiety, upsets, or angers you, and the outcome is outside of your control, taking a step back to honestly assess your circumstances is essential. This process can help you gain clarity and get a handle on what you can and cannot change. Sometimes, when we’re upset, we start catastrophizing. Remind yourself that as unpleasant as your circumstances are, being in denial or trying to “fight” the situation won’t benefit you. Reflect on what has happened, and acknowledge that certain things cannot be changed. Accepting reality allows you to reach a place where you can shift your own emotional response.
Acceptance Techniques
It’s definitely not easy to accept an upsetting situation. Using specific techniques to soothe yourself, process uncomfortable physical sensations, and ease your focus on negative thoughts can help you reach genuine acceptance. You may want to try adjusting your self-talk to avoid speaking negatively to yourself, engage in a guided meditation that emphasizes peaceful visualization, or try physical practices like yoga or mindful walks.
Honor Physical Sensations
There’s no denying that emotions like anger, sadness, irritation, and disappointment affect your body in addition to your mind. While yoga and walking can be helpful for coping with the physical effects of negative emotions, it’s also important to meet your basic physical needs in the midst of difficult times. It’s all too easy to push basic self-care, like getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, and drinking plenty of water, to the back burner when you’re struggling emotionally. Keeping up with these habits can help you think clearly and make smart decisions, regardless of your circumstances.
Shift Your Behavior
Radical acceptance also involves changing your behavior and how you handle the situation at hand. Think about how you would behave if you had reached full acceptance. What kinds of behaviors would you engage in? How would you communicate with others? What sorts of plans would you make for the future, and how would your actions differ from your current behaviors? Then, even if you haven’t fully accepted the situation yet, you can start acting as though you have. In the long run, your behavioral changes can also change your mindset.
Allowing for Disappointment and Grief
Finally, remember that accepting a situation does not mean you aren’t allowed to feel sad about your circumstances. Radical acceptance is about avoiding denial, letting go of unrealistic expectations, and resisting the urge to remain angry about the situation in the long run, which will not actually improve your circumstances.
But radical acceptance does not preclude you from feeling disappointed, and sometimes, grief is inescapable. You can still respond to the reality of a situation while making space in your life for sadness and grief.
If you’re striving to practice radical acceptance in your own life, Schedule a FREE Consultation Today to learn more about DBT.
